Dot Bekker's charity Kusasa support girls' education in Zimbabwe; Credit: Dot Bekker

On Wednesday evening, The NETWORK, the first English-speaking professional women's network in Luxembourg, invited back (virtually) one of its former presidents, Dot Bekker, to talk about "Leadership Tools: Assertiveness, Self-Confidence and Doubt"; more than 30 participants were in attendance.

At the age of 58, Dot Bekker decided to leave her 22-year marriage and drive home to Zimbabwe. She adapted her van to be able to live in it and boarded the ferry from Barcelona to Morocco, achieving her mission of being back in Africa by the age of 60. Dot’s trip was rich with adventures and interesting acquaintances, including Nigerian kings. 20,000 km, 8.5 months, and 18 African countries later, she made it to her destination. 

Leadership

Dot Bekker, who is now a business coach and a digital media expert, pointed out that top to bottom leadership is patriarchal. She described managers as “interpreters” because they must present the task to the people executing them. On this topic, she referred to Ricardo Semler’s book “Seven-Day Weekend”, in which a special form of leadership is presented: having everyone else lead.

The former president of The NETWORK explained that women lead differently from men. During the COVID-19 crisis, this way has proven to be more efficient. She noted that leadership is about influencing people and inspiring them – things which can be done wherever and whenever we want. On the other hand, the choice not to lead is just as valid as any other decision. She added that the best leaders have a set of values that they follow, and help and inspire others.

Assertiveness & Self-Confidence

Dot emphasised the importance of pairing assertiveness with self-confidence. She follows the principles laid down in the book “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom” by Don Miguel Ruiz. One of the main principles is not to take things personally, as well as asking oneself: is this my problem or someone else’s? She recalled that we do not to fix everything or everyone. Dot added that people will treat us the way we fell we deserve to be treated, so we should start with ourselves and set boundaries as a base of self-confidence.

Doubt

“Doubt is the thief that steals your dreams”, warned Dot, who stressed that she did not doubt that she would make it back to Zimbabwe. Instead, she took things one day at a time. Whilst recognising that fear can be a huge obstacle, she stressed that overcoming negative experiences can help us regain confidence. Her advice? To keep exposing ourselves to things and experiences that will make us more confident.

As a final thought, Dot Bekker stressed that “a woman’s place is wherever she wants it to be!” This interactive event thus showed that: leadership is not always something you need to do from the top or the front; assertiveness is an essential language (verbal and non-verbal) for women; self-Confidence is the gift you give yourself to enjoy your life; and doubt is the thief that steals your dreams.

Future Projects

Dot Bekker is currently working on setting up a school and creating a boarding school in an existing government hostel in Zimbabwe. She also plans to organise a boot camp with girls from rural environments in the country which will deal with critical thinking and assertiveness.

For further information and to support this project, donations are welcome on the website of Dot’s charity, Kusasa.